Whenever you meet a potential new suitor, you go through all the usual stuff to make sure you’re compatible: how your values and life goals line up, whether they’ll actually watch The Bachelorette with you. Later, as things heat up, you’ll probably compare zodiac sign compatibility—purely to confirm you’re a match, of course. While that’s great and all, there’s something way better: finding your twin flame.

Say what? A twin flame is a truly next-level bond—and one that you’ll have for life. So here’s everything to know about what it means—and more importantly, how to find yours.

Ooh. What is a twin flame, exactly?

Listen up, folks, because a twin flame is no joke. It’s “essentially the other half of your soul,” says Patricia Hicks*, a psychic advisor at Keen.com. A twin flame makes you feel complete—they’re a mirror of yourself, soul-wise, as if you were cut from the same cloth. 

While that’s pretty awesome, being in a relationship with your twin flame can be challenging at times because you’re so alike. 

Still, there’s an “unconditional love and bond that sticks,” Hicks notes.

Whoa, so is my twin flame my soul mate?

Yes and no. A twin flame is the “ultimate soul mate,” according to Hicks. You can have several soul mates during your life, but you can only have *one* twin flame, she explains.

In other words, your twin flame is your soulmate, but not all soulmates are twin flames. In fact, most aren’t—since, like Hicks said, you can only have one. (Stupid odds…)

What zodiac signs are twin flames?

Here’s the thing: Your Sun sign (i.e. the one you look up when you read your horoscope)—and your Venus sign—can help you figure out if you’re compatible with your S.O. But a twin flame “goes way further that just comparing two people’s Sun signs,” says Narayana Montufar, senior astrologer at Horoscope.com and Astrology.com.

Instead, a synastry chart reading, which compares two charts and the aspects they make to each other, could tell you whether you and your beau at least have a soul connection.

How will I know if I’ve found my twin flame?

Since you and a prospective suitor can’t just look up your zodiac signs to see if you’re twin flames (because that’d just be too easy), this is a gut feeling kind of thing.

If your gut’s already pointing in that direction, Montufar says to look out for these specific signs that you may just have found your twin flame:

In general, you know you’ve found your twin flame when you meet someone who is super similar to you. They’re so similar, in fact, that your interactions can even be a little uncomfortable, as well as super gratifying, Montufar says.

“Because they act like your mirror, and you like theirs, you know they are twin-flame material because you are helping each other grow in such a deep and meaningful way that no one else can,” she explains. “This is a fated connection, and you will feel it deep inside in the moment you first meet them.”

Does my twin flame have to be a love interest?

If all of the above sounds like the kind of bond you have with your bestie, good for you!

Your twin flame isn’t always and doesn’t have to be a romantic interest. You may even be in a better boat that way, since like Hicks mentioned, dating (or marrying) a soul clone of yourself can get a little…challenging.

Does everyone have a twin flame?

Not necessarily…womp womp. You can meet your twin flame in your life, or you can simply have a spiritual energy that’s a twin flame, Montufar says. (As in, it could be a soul that isn’t in a living human body anymore, which you may or may not recognise.)

So if you happen to meet someone and you feel like they just ~get~ you—like, REALLY get you, in a way you couldn’t even dream up—consider yourself very lucky. You’ve found your twin flame, sis.

This article originally appeared on Women’s Health US. 

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