Name: Hot baths.

Age: Ancient.

Appearance: Bubbly.

That’s nice. I love a long, hot bath with a book and a cup of tea. Who doesn’t?

Cats. But otherwise, sure. It’s like being back in the womb, but with a book and a cup of tea. And it’s good for you. Better than exercise!

Really? Well, in one narrow way, based on a single study with a small sample, perhaps.

I see. How do we know this? Some scientist called Dr Steve Faulkner did this experiment at Loughborough University where he fitted 10 unfit males with rectal thermometers and other devices, then got them to have long, hot, relaxing baths.

I think I’d be more relaxed without the thermometer. You get used to it. After the bath, the men got a meal, and on another day they did some vigorous cycling instead of the bath.

And? Much to everyone’s surprise, the bathers had peak blood sugar levels after eating that were 10% lower than the cyclists’. In short, the study suggests that hot baths might do a better job than exercise at lowering your blood sugar, which is the challenge in diabetes. The theory is that it is something to do with “heat shock proteins”.

Fantastic! When I develop diabetes, I’ll remember that. Controlling peak blood sugar may also prevent diabetes. Plus, having a long, hot bath was found to increase calorie burning by 80%. Nowhere near as much as cycling, but still useful. In an hour in a hot bath, the men each burned 126 calories, which is about the same as a half-hour walk.

So, quick recap: science says I can stop doing exercise and eat whatever I like as long as I have plenty of baths? No. Science says: “We would always encourage increased physical activity and exercise as the best way to maintain good health.” Faulkner does, anyway.

How about the risks, such as slipping over on the tiles or getting wrinkly toes? Don’t baths also poach your testicles and stop you having children? Some research suggests they may.

What if you’ve already got, arguably, too many children? Then I suppose the bath is the perfect place to hide.

Do say: “I like to arrange scented candles around the room to create my own peaceful sanctum. Bliss.”

Don’t say: “Until someone needs the toilet.”

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