When I turned up for my first Audax ride, about 20 years ago, in the car park of a pub somewhere near Maidenhead, the organisers of the ride – 100km hither and thither around the Chiltern hills – looked askance at my bike. Didn’t I know that I had to have mudguards? No, I didn’t – otherwise, I suppose, I would have had them.

After considerable teeth-sucking and consultation, I was permitted to take part, but with the understanding that this was a once-only dispensation on account of my youth and ignorance; I could not expect such generous treatment again. Get some mudguards, lad.

Audax is an international organisation, with a British branch, that organises long-distance endurance events: “randonnées”. These are not races – in fact, a maximum average speed of 30kph applies – but the idea is that a ride of 100km, 200km, or more, is completed within a given time. There are checkpoints on the course, where “randonneurs” must hand over their “brevet” cards – little carnets – to be stamped by an official to prove completion of each stage.

These are the ancient forerunners of today’s more vogueish cyclo-sportives; and British cycling clubs run early-season events called reliability trials along similar lines. The most famous randonnée of all is the Paris-Brest-Paris (PBP to cognoscenti) – a 1,200km, through-night-and-day marathon, which dates back to 1891 and is held every four years.

Audax has its own lore and adherents – a tough, often older, but gruffly warm breed. They usually ride touring bikes, of venerable steel construction, with well-worn Brooks saddles and old-fashioned black canvas Carradice saddlebags containing some kind of pre-Gore-Tex waterproof, woollen jersey, spare pair of socks and packet of fig rolls.

They will ride at the same steady lick, up hill and down dale, for hundreds of kilometres, apparently indefatigable and without complaint, in all weathers. It can be blowing a gale and they may be drenched by horizontal rain, but they will only complain if they have to ride behind someone without mudguards. Audax regulations still allow event organisers to specify mudguards as mandatory.

And, given recent weather, I’ve been reminded why. If you’re riding close behind someone without mudguards, it can be hard to tell whether you are getting wetter from the rain or the spray off their tyres. Mostly, on the daily commute, there’s no reason to cycle so close. Then one just marvels at the masochism of people who seem oblivious of the long damp stripe of rainwater, grit and road grime following the line of their spine from coccyx to neck. Very staining, too.

It’s mysterious to me why anyone would endure a British winter without mudguards. Some may feel they spoil the look of their bike. Possibly, but not as much as the muck off the road does.

Teeth-sucking, you see: an essential cycling skill. For more information on Audax events, go to www.audax.uk.net

Bike doc

Dear Matt,
Last July you wrote that, “When the Tour comes to Britain next year, we will have our very own étape, a 130-mile cyclists’ pilgrimage from London to Canterbury.” Now that the French étape route has been announced, is there any news of this English version for 2007?
Rob Mackey, via email

I’m glad you ask as I’ve been dying to know myself. There isn’t any firm news yet: as you can imagine, the logistics are considerable. Unlike the étape proper, which takes place in remote areas of provincial France, the British event will be in a densely populated area of the south-east. But British Cycling (britishcycling.org.uk), which is coordinating the planning, is well aware that there would be huge demand for a London-to-Canterbury cyclo-sportive and is determined to deliver it. There should be an announcement early in the new year, so watch this space!

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