Whilst incomparably better for you than other tanning methods, the good ol’ faux glow doesn’t come without its own set of issues. Here are some truths that you’ll only understand if you’re addicted to fake tanning.
1. You can never reach your upper back on your own. If you don’t have someone nearby to help tan your back, it’s just arm cramp central.
2. Thursday night plans are a no-go, you’re far too busy marinating.
3. Rolling into work on a Friday morning several shades darker is no longer a big deal.
4. There’s nothing worse than forgetting to check the weather report and getting caught in the rain – minus the pina coladas plus the streaks.
5. You’ve also experienced the horror of not realising you missed a spot until the next day.
6. You wish you could rock Karl Lagerfeld gloves because sometimes there’s no hiding those tan hands.
7. You own at least one designated tanning muumuu.
8. Your armpits somehow always remain white, no matter how many layers you put on.
9. And your face always ends up lighter than the rest of your body.
10. So you own multiple shades of foundation, but still none of them quite match your tan.
11. You’ve never run faster than when your tan of choice is on sale at Priceline.
12. White sheets are a thing of the past. And so are “good” pyjamas.
13. Everyone thinks you smell funky but to you it’s just sweet, sweet coconut.
14. You’ve had to think twice before bringing a dude home because you’ve tactically only bronzed your exposed limbs.
15. A 12 hour body transformation is a real thing and it comes in a bottle.
16. You’ve definitely opted to stay in on a Saturday night in order to apply a fresh tan… and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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