If you’re looking to incorporate more screaming and sword fighting into your daily workout routine, Grimes has a few helpful pointers.
The Canadian singer-songwriter is the new face of Stella McCartney’s new eco-friendly Adidas collection, and she shared her absurd training regimen to coincide with the campaign’s launch in a jarring, freewheeling Instagram post.
Her “360 approach to fitness” begins with a “healthy cellular routine” that allows her to “maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc.” She claims this is also to promote ATP (the molecules used to store and transport energy within your cells), and calls the process “incredibly visceral,” as if she can feel the energy building within her.
After 2 to 4 hours in a deprivation tank, Grimes is able to “‘astro-glide’ to other dimensions – past, present, and future.” She then engages in a “1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew.” Grimes’ cool-down includes “30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout.”
She spends “45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type).” Grimes revealed that her studio is outfitted “with the highest grade of red light.”
“Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency,” Grimes wrote.
Beyond fitness, Grimes, who has dated the similarly productivity-obsessed Elon Musk, shares that she’s “eliminated all blue light” from her vision “through an experimental surgery.”
“[It] removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression.”
Oh, and she also shares that she goes to bed “with a humidifier on.”
If you’re going to engage in spon con, you might as well have a little bit of fun in the process. The whole thing is a delightfully ludicrous send-up of ultra-privileged celebrities sharing their increasingly inaccessible wellness routines online.
Or is it? The only way to find out is to challenge Grimes to a duel.
ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regiment ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions – past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor
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You might not want to try Grimes’ training routine, but you’ll definitely want to take on your next workout while you listen to her on our list of the Best 50 Indie Workout Songs.
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